iCome Out To Spencer
by Cookie VanDeKamp
Summary: Carly tells Spencer her secret. Sparly family, sweet oneshot.


Pretty much everyone knows that I was never really interested in dating Freddie. Most assumed it was because I didn't want to make things awkward if we broke up, thought we were better off as friends, or that he just wasn't my type. The last one was kind of the truth, but it wasn't Freddie's fault. The truth was, there wasn't a single guy who was my "type". I had always felt more attracted to girls.

I remember fourth grade… I had such a big crush on Wendy back then. Of course, I'm over it now, but back then, I would catch myself doodling "Carly + Wendy" on my notebooks, unlike all the other girls, who wrote things like "Tureen + Rodney" or "Sam + Buddy". That was the first time that I realized I was different.

For awhile in middle school, I pretended to myself that I was simply bisexual. I could still date guys, I could still be normal… But there was no way. I was gay. Plain and simple. But I still pretended to get crushes on guys, while admiring girls like Tara, Patrice, and sometimes even Sam from afar. I had to pretend. When a girl named Maria came out as gay, she was bullied ruthlessly. Sam, Freddie, Gibby, and I all tried to help her, but they wouldn't stop. Finally, Maria left the school. Over the years, any gay or bi student who was brave enough to come out would be bullied, and they all left, one by one. I couldn't bear to leave Ridgeway and Freddie and Sam… so I kept quiet.

And now, here I was, pacing back and forth in my bedroom. I took a deep breath, and stuck my head through the door.

"SPENCER!" I shouted.

"WHAT?" he yelled back.

"GET UP HERE!"

"CAN'T RIGHT NOW! WORKING ON A NEW SCULPTURE! Wait… OH GOD!"

I heard the sound of a small explosion and saw part of what was the floor to me and the ceiling to my brother fall through.

"ARE YOU OKAY?" I called in alarm.

"YEAH… JUST DANDY… ow…" he moaned. "LOOK, SORRY, KIDDO, BUT IT'LL HAVE TO WAIT."

"IT _CAN'T _WAIT!" I screamed at him.

"IS IT IMPORTANT OR WHATEVER?"

"VERY!"

"HOW IMPORTANT?"

"LIKE, _LIFE-CHANGING _IMPORTANT!"

"OKAY, I'LL BE UP IN A SEC!"

Although I was glad that my brother was finally coming, I half-hoped that he'd take awhile. I still hadn't worked out what I was going to say.

Unfortunately, he was upstairs within two minutes. "What's up, Carly?" he asked, walking in.

"It's… I don't know where to start, to be honest," I sighed.

He frowned. "Is something wrong at school?"

"No."

"You and Sam fighting again?"

"No, everything's fine." I paused. "Well, actually, no, everything's _not _fine. I mean, Sam and I are fine, but _I'm _not."

"I'm lost…" he said.

"Sit down," I said, pointing to my desk chair.

He did so. "You're getting me worried here," he said. "Did you do something illegal?"

I rolled my eyes. "Spencer! It's _me _you're talking to!"

"Then what's up?"

"It's hard to talk about… and I'm worried that everyone but you will hate me for it…"

"Just let it all out."

I took a deep breath. "You know how last week I had to do an essay on the LGBT community and asked you what you thought of LGBT rights and you said that you were all for them?"

He nodded.

"Well, there was no essay. I just wanted to see what you thought of gay people."

"Why?"

"Because… I am one. I'm a lesbian, Spence, and you're the first to know."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah. I'm cool with it, you can be happy, what's not to like?"

I smiled a little. Just like him to see things like that. Like the world was so simple.

"A few kids at my school have come out of the closet," I told him, "but they were bullied so badly that they left. I want to come out, too, but I'm terrified."

"I guess I can understand that…" he said. "What about Sam and Freddie?"

"I'll tell them eventually," I said, "but not now. It took a lot just to tell you, and you're my brother." I buried my face in my hands. "God, once I come out, everything's gonna be different."

"Hey, not really," he said, rubbing my back. "I still love you, and you love me, right?"

"Yeah, of course."

"You'll continue iCarly?"

"Duh." I rolled my eyes then.

"And Sam and Freddie will still be your friends?"

"Sam and Freddie will _always_ be my friends."

"See? Nothing that really matters will change."

"Y'know, Spencer," I said, hugging him. "You're pretty great."

"I am, aren't I?"

"G'night."

"Night, kiddo."

He began to walk out.

"Spencer!" I called.

"Hmm?"

"Thanks."


End file.
